Crying in the shower
Cancer is often more distressing in younger patients because it comes as a shock to face such a problem, says Dr. Winer. "Breast cancer can impact all aspects of a woman's life. It interferes with work, relationships, family, and one's sense of self."
Indeed, women do not expect to be facing their own mortality when they are only in their 30s, says Jane Bausch, LICSW, of Care Coordination. "Young women are defining themselves as they build careers, date, marry, and have children. Ideally, things should be falling into place, but for these women, they may seem to be falling apart."
Younger women with breast cancer face concerns that their older counterparts may not, such as genetic and fertility issues. These women may wonder if it's safe to become pregnant after cancer treatment. Or they worry that having children will become impossible if cancer therapy propels them into early menopause.
Karen Monaghan, MSW, also of Care Coordination, says younger women who've had mastectomies or entered menopause when they were hoping to become pregnant may grieve over what will never be. Fertility, sexuality, disfigurement, and self-esteem are major issues for these women. "My patients confess that they cry in the shower," she says. "They don't recognize themselves in a mirror."
"When I see a healthy-looking woman my age walking down the street, I want to be her," says Steiner. "At the same time, I am so grateful for the love and support of my husband, Michael, who is my rock, and my family and friends."
Money is another major concern; cancer may mean loss of income at a time when children need to be taken care of and mortgages paid. Young women expect a lot of themselves, says Monaghan. "They try to be everything to everyone. While they are being treated for breast cancer, they feel they are not coping well enough because they're not going to PTA meetings and can't be Superwoman. I tell them, 'You are Superwoman, just a different kind'"
- Next: Aggressive cancer, aggressive treatment
- Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
