Adoria Frei, DFCI and Friends advocate, remembered for 'love and loyalty'
The Freis enjoy a tender moment at a Board of Trustees event honoring Dr. Frei in 2005.
Whether she was raising five young sons as a widow or helping to bring music and more to the lives of Dana-Farber patients during her later marriage to DFCI Physician-in-Chief Emeritus Emil "Tom" Frei III, MD, Adoria "Dori" Brock Frei had a kind, calming presence that endeared her to others. She looked at the Institute as an integral part of her life, and even after moving to Las Vegas in recent years with her husband she stayed interested in the Friends of Dana-Farber Cancer Institute – the all-volunteer organization she had once helped lead.
Dori Frei, who continued caring for Emil Frei while battling her own declining health, died Jan. 28 of primary peritoneal cancer in Las Vegas, surrounded by her large and loving family.
Jean Canellos, a founding member of the Friends of DFCI who served on its board with Dori Frei for close to 20 years, recalls that she had a "quiet but persuasive presence' as a regular meeting attendee and was devoted to making things better for patients and their families. The Friends, founded in 1976, has raised more than $20 million to fund patient/family programs, cutting-edge research, a medical oncology fellow, and other outreach efforts by the Institute.
"For years she was in charge of entertainment for the patients – bringing in choral groups and musicians to play for them in the Dana lobby,' Canellos recalls. "She was extremely warm, and genuine in everything she did. Dori had great pride in her husband and always referred to him as 'Dr. Frei,' even to those of us who knew him socially as Tom.' She also assured that the next generation of her family would continue aiding the Institute when she recruited her daughter-in-law, Lauren Frei, to become involved over the past decade. Lauren served as co-president of the Friends from 2006-2008.
Dori Frei's own involvement with Dana-Farber began shortly after she and Emil Frei, both widowed, married in 1987 during the final years of Emil's tenure as physician-in-chief. President Emeritus David G. Nathan, MD, one of many DFCI leaders who grew close to Dori during this period, describes her as "a remarkable woman whose life was characterized by love and loyalty.' This was never more apparent than when Emil Frei was slowed in recent years by Parkinson's disease, and she became a constant presence at his side during symposia and other events – making sure he stayed as active as possible. "They were just madly in love,' says Lauren Frei.
From friendship to marriage
Dori and Emil Frei step out for Dana-Farber at the 2002 Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk.
Born and raised in Pittsburgh, Dori Frei was a graduate of Mount Mercy College (now Carlow University) in Pittsburgh who moved to the Washington, D.C., area with her first husband, Elmer Brock, assistant deputy Postmaster General under President John F. Kennedy in the early 1960s. The couple was involved in the civil rights movement, and Dori tutored hearing-impaired college students. She also enjoyed playing the autoharp.
While living in Bethesda, Md., she and Elmer grew close with neighbors Emil and Elizabeth Frei. Emil was then chief of medicine at the National Cancer Institute, and when Elmer Brock was diagnosed with lung cancer, Emil Frei was his physician. After her husband's death in 1963, Dori was left with five sons ranging in age from six years to nine months. Emil Frei became one of several family friends to take on a fatherly presence for the boys, despite a demanding job and five of his own children.
The families stayed in touch even after Emil Frei was recruited to DFCI by Institute Founder Sidney Farber, MD. Frei's first wife, Elizabeth, died in the 1980s, and Emil and Dori eventually developed a new relationship that led to their marriage. Besides improving Emil's health, their move to Las Vegas enabled them to be near the youngest of their 20-plus grandchildren.
While keeping family and friends across the world abreast of Emil's condition, Dori Frei told almost nobody about her own sickness until the last month. "My husband, Emil IV, only found out when he went to visit them and saw she had no hair,' says Lauren Frei. "It was so in keeping with her personality – she always put everybody else first.'
In addition to her husband and grandchildren, Dori Frei is survived by her brother Edward Smetana and his wife, Bertha; her sons Stephen, Francis, Peter, Vincent, and John; and by her stepchildren Alice, Emil IV, Judy, Mary, and Nancy.
Services were held on February 21 at Holy Cross Church in Garrett Park, Maryland. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made in memory of Adoria Brock Frei to the Nevada Cancer Institute at One Breakthrough Way, Las Vegas, NV 89135, or at www.nevadacancerinstitute.org.
— Saul Wisnia
saul_wisnia@dfci.harvard.edu
