Family Connections
Bereavement
Resources for grieving children, teens, and parents
Listed below are some resources that you might find useful. Many of these materials are available through the Blum Patient & Family Resource Center.
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Books to read with young children Books about feelings and emotions Books for parents and caregivers
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www.grievingchild.org: Web site for the Dougy Center, a nationally renowned center for work with grieving children and teens. It has information for adults to help young people, as well as information and activities for children and teens to help understand their grief. Information is even provided to assist with the grief experienced if someone at the child's school dies. The Web site also has a list of additional resources and links.
www.griefnet.org: Large Web site for both adults and children. It specializes in "e-mail support groups" where peers provide support, while also being monitored by trained therapists and a licensed psychiatrist. Site for children (www.kidsaid.com) also includes support for typical childhood/adolescent issues (i.e., peer pressure, dating, family relationships, etc.).
www.bereavedfamilies.net: These groups are primarily based in Ontario, however, there is a great list of links to groups, sites, and assistance available in the U.S. (in the Self-Help Resources Guide). There is information about specific diseases, the loss of various relationships, information about funeral preparations and memorials, among other things. Information about children's loss and grief is for parents.
www.barrharris.org: Has a comprehensive listing of books for children of all ages and parents. There is no description of the books, but the books address issues ranging from developmental perspectives to books for preschoolers to traumatic deaths.
www.naesp.org: The National Association of Elementary School Principals site provides a resource for educators and principals with articles and tips on how to help children in the school context.
www.fernside.org: A site offering support to children, using various forms of engaging children. It has a general question and answer page, art activities to process feelings related to grief, and online kids discussion groups. The site has a separate page for adults; both the children and adult pages have links to other resources.
www.nhpco.org: (National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization) The NHPCO has organized a large database of pediatric bereavement programs which are organized by state. It also has a very good commentary (suitable for teens to read) about a teenager who recently lost his father. This segment is in conjunction with the HBO documentary called "Love, Josh."
www.growthhouse.org: A "portal" for end of life care information, this award-winning site houses a wide range of information. A sampling of topics discussed are hospice, palliative care, pain, grief, Handbook for Mortals excerpts, and a health dictionary. This site features a multitude of hyperlinks within the text that take the user to further information and resources on that topic. The site map is particularly useful if looking for specific information.
www.pbs.org/onourownterms: This site provides information related to the four part PBS series "On Our Own Terms" produced by Bill Moyer. Links to resources, tools, and information about the program as well as ordering information are available.
Books
General Death/Loss Books
Badger's Parting Gifts
Susan Varley
A story of Old Badger and the parting gifts he gave to his friends.
Everett Anderson's Goodbye
Lucille Clifton
This picture book moves through the stages of grief in very few words and big pictures.
Talking About Death
Earl Grollman
A dialogue between parent and child that covers how to cope and what to say to children regarding grief, anger, hopelessness, and unresolved issues.
The Next Place
Warren Hanson
A beautiful and peaceful book illustrating heaven; for people of all ages who have lost a loved one.
The Paper Chain
Blake, Blanchard, and Parkinson
For families coping with cancer, this book provides concrete examples for positive steps families can take to help children cope successfully with a tough situation.
The Saddest Time
Norma Simon
Helps children with potential and eventual loss of someone they care about. Incorporates death as a normal part of life through three short stories; an uncle with a terminal illness, a classmate killed in an accident, and a grandparent's death.
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney
Judith Viorst
This book discusses death as part of the lifecycle.
What on Earth to Do When Someone Dies?
Trevor Romain
In this book the author speaks directly to kids answering questions like Why? How? What next? Is it my fault? What's a funeral?
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death
Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
This book answers questions about death directly, practically and sensibly.
When Someone Dies
Sharon Greenlee
A comforting and helpful book for children and adults as they move through the stages of grieving after a loved one is lost.
Where is Grandpa?
T.A. Barron
This book for parents and children coping with the loss of a grandparent, is meant to be shared together and helps its readers talk about and remember their loss.
Books About Feelings and Emotions
Feelings
Aliki
A useful tool to teach younger children about feelings, the book is separated into several short stories.
If You're Afraid of the Dark, Remember the Night Rainbow
Cooper Edens
A story about incorporating the universal emotions of fear, doubt, joy and loss, and the ability to reveal the silver lining in any cloud; about facing obstacles with a positive attitude.
I'll Always Love You
Hans Wilhelm
One morning the "best dog in the world" doesn't wake up and her owner realizes that you never stop loving your dog or anyone, even when they die.
Life Doesn't Frighten Me
Maya Angelou
Children facing fear and anxiety are comforted by these poems and illustrations.
Tough Boris
Mem Fox
Pirates are rough and tough, but they cry too!
When Someone Very Special Dies, Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief
Marge E. Heegaard
A workbook designed for children aged 9-12 to assist them in understanding death and learning coping skills. This book has similar exercises to When Something Terrible Happens, another book by Heegaard.
When Something Terrible Happens Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief
Marge E. Heegaard
This book lets the child be the author as they explore their feelings through directed art therapy. The general nature of the book allows children to personalize the content. This book has similar exercises to When Someone Very Special Dies, another book by Heegaard.
How It Feels When a Parent Dies
Jill Krementz
18 children from 7-17 speak openly about their experiences and feelings. The book includes photos of kids and their families.
I Will Remember You: What to Do When Someone You Love Dies: A Guidebook Through Grief For Teens
Laura Dower and Elana Lister
This is an inspirational and accessible guide for teens who are coping with a loss. It includes personal stories from real teens and advice from a grief counselor.
Straight Talk About Death For Teenagers: How to Cope With Losing Someone You Love
Earl Grollman
The author speaks directly and effectively to teens who are coping with the death of a family member or friend. It contains advice from an author who understands both teenagers and grief.
The Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teenager and Their Friends
Fitzgerald, Helen
A compassionate guide written by a grief counselor. Readers are given the tools they need to work through pain and grief. he author lets teens know that even as they grieve, they are not alone.
Living When a Loved One Has Died
Earl Grollman
This book explains what emotions to expect when mourning, what pitfalls to avoid, and how to work through feelings of loss.
Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One: A Guide for Grown-ups
William Kroen and Pamela Espeland
An explanation of how children from infancy through age 18 perceive and react to death which offers suggestions for how to respond to children at different ages and stages. Specific strategies are offered to guide and support them through the grieving process
How Do We Tell the Children? A Step by Step Guide for Helping Children Cope When Someone Dies
Dan Schaeffer, Christine Lyons, and David Peretz
This book informs adults how to help young ones cope with the trauma of loss and offers time-tested, valuable advice on how to explain and console children in a language that they can understand. The book includes sections on what children think about death; explaining death to children; fear, confusion, and sadness; grief and healing; the funeral and saying good-bye.
A Child's View of Grief (booklet)
Alan Wolfelt
In this informative, easy—to-read booklet, Dr. Wolfelt explains how children and adolescents grieve after someone loved dies and offers helping guidelines for caregiving adults. An excellent, concise resource for parents of grieving kids.
www.centerforloss.com (800-922-6051)
Healing A Teen's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Family, Friends, and Caregivers
Alan Wolfelt
For families, friends and caregiver who want practical day-to-day "how-tos" for helping the grieving children they love. Some of the ideas teach about children's unique mourning styles and needs. Others suggest simple activities and "companioning" tips. This is a compassionate, easy-to-read resource for parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, volunteers-and a great refresher for professional caregivers.
www.centerforloss.com (800-922-6051)
Bereaved Children and Teens: A Support Guide for Parents and Professionals
Earl Grollman
A fairly comprehensive guide to helping children and adolescents cope with the emotional, religious, social, and physical aspects of a loved one's death. Topics range from how adolescents grieve differently from adults to concrete ways to help children cope.
A Teen's View of Grief: An Educational Videotape for Bereavement Caregivers
Alan Wolfelt
This fresh new video on teen grief, written by and featuring Dr. Wolfelt, provides in-depth information in its beautifully produced forty minutes. Throughout, Dr. Wolfelt's teachings are interspersed with comments from actual bereaved teens.
www.centerforloss.com (800-922-6051)
